tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post2389177091347453385..comments2013-10-08T18:17:03.048-07:00Comments on For Love Of God: Finding ClosureBhedrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08091896907803479900noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-27319257407347367672013-04-22T19:16:00.244-07:002013-04-22T19:16:00.244-07:00Thank you so much bro David. The Davey's truly...Thank you so much bro David. The Davey's truly are a blessing. My parents used to attend the Colonial Baptist in Va Beach where his other brother Dan Davey preaches.Bhedrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08091896907803479900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-32493730278966427922013-04-21T20:02:19.374-07:002013-04-21T20:02:19.374-07:00Bro. Brian, I am praying for you as well. I love t...Bro. Brian, I am praying for you as well. I love that statement by bro. Davey, it is true, and God will walk with us through it no matter how long it takes, He is in no hurry. Steven Davey is a great brother as was his brother. I truly see Christ as you share His grace as you grieve. We as your brothers and sisters grieve with you, and one day we'll rejoice together.David Wyatthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03912850723087704550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-75919095052328632332013-03-12T18:11:02.954-07:002013-03-12T18:11:02.954-07:00And we shall meet one day, if not by this side of ...And we shall meet one day, if not by this side of the grave, then on the other side of the open tomb in our ultimate resurrection.<br />Bhedrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08091896907803479900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-61928819952352646342013-03-12T18:07:14.186-07:002013-03-12T18:07:14.186-07:00Not at all....you are a blessing brother. Gives me...Not at all....you are a blessing brother. Gives me a chance to read and re-read. I like doing that. Care about you too broBhedrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08091896907803479900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-80276699454771652252013-03-12T12:13:28.686-07:002013-03-12T12:13:28.686-07:00Hey, I didn't mean to go on and on there, but ...Hey, I didn't mean to go on and on there, but I care about you. And I know you already have a good plan. Take care.Todd Saundershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07460516882625598170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-80391709936101702742013-03-12T09:47:46.293-07:002013-03-12T09:47:46.293-07:00Thanks Todd. I truly value your input and friendsh...Thanks Todd. I truly value your input and friendship. Your words are encouraging.Bhedrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08091896907803479900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-53600372398558052802013-03-12T09:44:58.602-07:002013-03-12T09:44:58.602-07:00Thanks Johanna, Yes,I have talked already with pro...Thanks Johanna, Yes,I have talked already with professional counselors and aslo I am enrolling in a Divorce Care support group as well and will be taking courses in that. I researched some of the info already and it is helping me to define the boundaries I need in my life right now and the direction I must head.Bhedrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08091896907803479900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-79411611571797139682013-03-12T09:29:46.943-07:002013-03-12T09:29:46.943-07:00Brian,
The "graveside" idea, by the way...Brian,<br /><br />The "graveside" idea, by the way, makes perfect sense to me. We know God's mind on divorce and adultery. He says he hates divorce and very often reserved a harsh punishment for those chose not to understand it with Him, true to his gracious word. As you knew long before me, being reborn into the spirit of his Son, when we see divorce, we see a death brother. But we, our spirits, have that resting place amongst all that death in this life, in Christ's spirit, all day, at work, or play, or study, or even when we sadly waste our time. And we have "spiritual remedies" through our Lord for painful memories in this life, and I don't think it is to forget them. I think it is to deal with them in the Spirit, with Him. He will make them work out in some way for good. Perhaps with the end of making our joy complete.<br /><br />Hopefully, that other family member(you mentioned above) remembers that we all know there is only one Jesus, in all and through all, and He is aware of our impatience with each other. <br /><br />Just as He said it would be, it is tough down here. Someday there will be a grave of some sort for each of us, until the Lord returns, and in the meanwhile, what could make more sense than a personal burial place for spiritual things as well(I appreciate that thought), that were once alive and precious to us, did not vaporize into thin air, and now need their own proper resting place in our minds. True, we've been given memories that have the masterful ability to distort and dismiss. The Lord's memory is not selective and the broken marriage still resides in His. I like the idea of giving the remains of your marriage a proper burial pal. Not to forget, but just to put it somewhere. A graveside - symbolic or real. Spiritual. I really like that idea. The marriage had a spiritual substance that, ripped apart, still reserves space somewhere with the Lord. Give it back to the Him with both thanksgiving and sorrow. To me that is better than asking the carnal and selfish memory or ours to repackage it and push it away somewhere. <br /><br />Anyway, I like the idea.<br /><br />The boys can go forward as well, having not forgotten, but instead placing things in their respective places, understanding both the potential preciousness and the painful failure that awaits their choices in marriage. <br /><br />I do wish I could meet you at the morgue Brian, and go with you to the graveside. You and the Lord. But, if I have learned anything from Paul, and the Lord, I think I will be with you there in spirit no less. <br /><br />Todd Saundershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07460516882625598170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-83611865796392395502013-03-11T17:14:49.907-07:002013-03-11T17:14:49.907-07:00Good thoughts Brian. Keep healing. You look like...Good thoughts Brian. Keep healing. You look like you are moving forward. Nice job. No hurry. Sorry about your loss brother. Todd Saundershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07460516882625598170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-86119019580726852992013-03-11T13:10:25.376-07:002013-03-11T13:10:25.376-07:00We are really living in a twisted age. That is sh...We are really living in a twisted age. That is shocking that Christians can be that cruel. <br /><br />I agree that a wise counselor might really help you walk through and really process the grief over all this. Someone wise might help to legitimize the grief since it sounds like some in your support system are sending the opposite message and inflicting Job's friends type wounds. Don't listen to bad counselors. Are you inclined to consider the counseling option?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14129403607163332340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-80836014707318293502013-03-11T13:05:21.106-07:002013-03-11T13:05:21.106-07:00Thank you, I will and I have been.Thank you, I will and I have been.Bhedrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08091896907803479900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-83296325363230718092013-03-10T11:23:21.510-07:002013-03-10T11:23:21.510-07:00when my husband's mom died ..he was told to ge...when my husband's mom died ..he was told to get over it..it doesnt work...take time to grieve..time to heal..get counseling...real counseling..Tonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02519456829282521978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-91244658422051502462013-03-09T11:29:50.487-08:002013-03-09T11:29:50.487-08:00Thank you Johanna. Your encouragement is very time...Thank you Johanna. Your encouragement is very timely. A little while ago I received a private message from a family member that I have not seen in years, telling me to get over myself and try to discover who the real Jesus is and that I make them sick. So thank you kindly for being an encouragement and understanding what divorce truly is.Bhedrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08091896907803479900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6939051198610205861.post-51878607997511654022013-03-08T19:49:13.966-08:002013-03-08T19:49:13.966-08:00You can't rush grief is an excellent word.
...You can't rush grief is an excellent word. <br /><br />Divorce is far worse than losing someone to death. It lacks the formalities you mentioned that help us to process the pain. And it has the viscous side of the betrayal itself. <br /><br />I think it's very reassuring that one of the Psalms, I think 88 or 89, looks carefully at the grief, as other psalms do, but never turns from the grief. Its like God wanted us to clearly know what his thoughts and feelings were regarding grief. That He didn't sign on to the short circuiting of grief and denial that won't give it the time needed.<br /><br />The Psalms are so reassuring for me. <br /><br />I'll be praying, Brian.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14129403607163332340noreply@blogger.com